a little worried
May. 14th, 2015 04:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sleepybadgerBeing honest with myself today meant being honest about the fact that I am nervous about potential changes in my honey. When we first started dating, he seemed so wonderful that I spent a good chunk of time waiting for the other shoe to drop. You know, when you meet someone and they seem pretty awesome but then they scream at a server or ask you to give them $1000 for an amazing business venture or punch the wall next to your head when they're pissed off or casually mention that time they set a homeless person on fire.
My dating experience was not so great. OK, most the examples above are made up (except the money one. Also that same guy was half an hour late to our evening date because he was "meeting with a potential investor"), but I've been on a lot of dates where it was clear right away that there was no real interest/ chemistry/connection/whatever. In fact, probably half of them were nice people, we just didn't have that spark. They were the kind of dates where you basically have a decent time, but when they don't call you, you don't feel sad about it.
When I met my current boyfriend, I was cautious. I was using a different dating site than usual, I had never met someone from that site before, and I had been on enough of these ok but not great dates to not really get my hopes up anymore. I had a nice time, I enjoyed talking to him, I thought he had good potential - he was sweet, he was nice and thoughtful...and then at the end of our date, he kissed me good night and I was a goner. It wasn't just the kiss, but the kiss sealed the deal. When he got home he texted me to thank me for "a perfect evening". We've been inseparable ever since.
I can't say enough about what a good man my sweetheart is. He tells me every single day that I'm beautiful, I'm smart, I'm amazing, I'm sexy. He tells me how thankful and lucky he is to have found me. He cooks and cleans (and is great at both), he listens, he always touches me with love, he opens the car door for me all the time. We fit well together and understand each other and are at ease together. I know he always has my back, and he knows I always have his.
Now that he has this head injury, I'm feeling cautious again. I'm scared of what might happen. I'm afraid he's no longer going to be my wonderful, loving, kind, supportive partner. I was afraid that when he was fully awake after that first day (he was awake but dozing most of the time) that he wouldn't remember me or wouldn't love me anymore. So far... he still adores me. He still thinks I'm wonderful. And he still seems like his usual self so... we'll see.
My dating experience was not so great. OK, most the examples above are made up (except the money one. Also that same guy was half an hour late to our evening date because he was "meeting with a potential investor"), but I've been on a lot of dates where it was clear right away that there was no real interest/ chemistry/connection/whatever. In fact, probably half of them were nice people, we just didn't have that spark. They were the kind of dates where you basically have a decent time, but when they don't call you, you don't feel sad about it.
When I met my current boyfriend, I was cautious. I was using a different dating site than usual, I had never met someone from that site before, and I had been on enough of these ok but not great dates to not really get my hopes up anymore. I had a nice time, I enjoyed talking to him, I thought he had good potential - he was sweet, he was nice and thoughtful...and then at the end of our date, he kissed me good night and I was a goner. It wasn't just the kiss, but the kiss sealed the deal. When he got home he texted me to thank me for "a perfect evening". We've been inseparable ever since.
I can't say enough about what a good man my sweetheart is. He tells me every single day that I'm beautiful, I'm smart, I'm amazing, I'm sexy. He tells me how thankful and lucky he is to have found me. He cooks and cleans (and is great at both), he listens, he always touches me with love, he opens the car door for me all the time. We fit well together and understand each other and are at ease together. I know he always has my back, and he knows I always have his.
Now that he has this head injury, I'm feeling cautious again. I'm scared of what might happen. I'm afraid he's no longer going to be my wonderful, loving, kind, supportive partner. I was afraid that when he was fully awake after that first day (he was awake but dozing most of the time) that he wouldn't remember me or wouldn't love me anymore. So far... he still adores me. He still thinks I'm wonderful. And he still seems like his usual self so... we'll see.
