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priorities
May. 3rd, 2016 12:01 pmThey're always saying that no one ever says "I wish I spent more time in the office" on their deathbed. They say most people say they wish they had spent more time with family and friends. I wonder... is this going to eventually become "no one ever says 'I wish I'd spent more time online/on my phone' on their deathbed"?
In some ways the office/online piece is tied together - many people are expected to not only be reachable off-hours, but are expected to respond to emails and calls nights and weekends and sometimes even while they're on vacation. And everyone has different stuff going on in their life and different priorities. When I was in college, I spent a lot of time online, and especially my second year in school, I really regretted at the end of the year that I didn't spend more time with my real life friends (I transferred to a different school and all of my friends there were either graduating or also transferring. I truly wish I had spent more time with them in person while I could.). I feel like I didn't get as much out of that year as I could have. At my next school I had to leave my room to get online so I often ran into friends on campus, but at my first school we all had computers in our rooms.
These days, I play a variety of games casually, and in most of the games, I play with or against people who play a lot more than I do. I always wonder what to say to folks when they ask why I don't play more, without coming across as being jerky or judgemental. The real reason is - there are too many better (to me) ways I want to spend my time (typically what I say is "I'm just a casual player" or "Too much other stuff going on to play more"). It's fun to play but if I have to choose between it and spending time with my sweetheart or my niece, it's not what I'm going to do. Also I have work and school and homework that have to be done (though many times I would rather do just about anything other than homework), not to mention books to read and friends to spend time with. And I know that many people have met great friends through online gaming, and playing together is a great way to stay in touch. I don't mean it sound like I'm saying that I have better ways to use my time AND SO DO YOU SO WHY ARE YOU WASTING YOUR TIME ON THIS STUPID GAME - what I mean is that if I were to make a list of all the things *I* enjoy doing, these games would be on the list, but there's a ton of stuff that's above them. Maybe if Zen played the same games I did and we could play together it might shift something up. We do often spend some time in the evening or on weekends snuggled up together on the couch with both of us on our kindles reading or playing games. But if we're having a serious conversation, or if we go out to dinner or something, we don't bring out our devices (except occasionally to look something up to settle a disagreement, or to see what movies showtimes are available). Same thing when we're out with family or friends. We instituted a rule for our game nights that we will stay off our phones unless we're between games or on a break (we take occasional breaks so people can potty/get more food/smoke/etc). Some folks have kids and so they have to be reachable in case something happens, but there's a difference between occasionally messaging back about the kids and spending half the evening scrolling through facebook.
In some ways the office/online piece is tied together - many people are expected to not only be reachable off-hours, but are expected to respond to emails and calls nights and weekends and sometimes even while they're on vacation. And everyone has different stuff going on in their life and different priorities. When I was in college, I spent a lot of time online, and especially my second year in school, I really regretted at the end of the year that I didn't spend more time with my real life friends (I transferred to a different school and all of my friends there were either graduating or also transferring. I truly wish I had spent more time with them in person while I could.). I feel like I didn't get as much out of that year as I could have. At my next school I had to leave my room to get online so I often ran into friends on campus, but at my first school we all had computers in our rooms.
These days, I play a variety of games casually, and in most of the games, I play with or against people who play a lot more than I do. I always wonder what to say to folks when they ask why I don't play more, without coming across as being jerky or judgemental. The real reason is - there are too many better (to me) ways I want to spend my time (typically what I say is "I'm just a casual player" or "Too much other stuff going on to play more"). It's fun to play but if I have to choose between it and spending time with my sweetheart or my niece, it's not what I'm going to do. Also I have work and school and homework that have to be done (though many times I would rather do just about anything other than homework), not to mention books to read and friends to spend time with. And I know that many people have met great friends through online gaming, and playing together is a great way to stay in touch. I don't mean it sound like I'm saying that I have better ways to use my time AND SO DO YOU SO WHY ARE YOU WASTING YOUR TIME ON THIS STUPID GAME - what I mean is that if I were to make a list of all the things *I* enjoy doing, these games would be on the list, but there's a ton of stuff that's above them. Maybe if Zen played the same games I did and we could play together it might shift something up. We do often spend some time in the evening or on weekends snuggled up together on the couch with both of us on our kindles reading or playing games. But if we're having a serious conversation, or if we go out to dinner or something, we don't bring out our devices (except occasionally to look something up to settle a disagreement, or to see what movies showtimes are available). Same thing when we're out with family or friends. We instituted a rule for our game nights that we will stay off our phones unless we're between games or on a break (we take occasional breaks so people can potty/get more food/smoke/etc). Some folks have kids and so they have to be reachable in case something happens, but there's a difference between occasionally messaging back about the kids and spending half the evening scrolling through facebook.
